Curb the Criticism...
In our industry, everything you say gets met with judgement or criticism or aggression. Always on the internet, always behind the safety of a screen, always by people who mustn't know what exactly it is that we do or understand our company and our values.
The thing is, yes, we do sell “advice” to help your baby sleep better. We do support you to help your baby into a more predictable rhythm to their day if that's what you want. We do offer guidance and methods on teaching your baby to fall asleep independently if and when they're ready… But at the end of the day you have to want to be helped! We can’t force ourselves to help you, we can’t force you to do what we say; we’re not puppeteers. Our customers have sought us out, they’ve said to us “hey, I’ve reached my breaking point”. And we’ve said “it’s ok, we’ve got you”.
It might surprise you to know that we don’t do “cry-it-out” or extinction sleep training. We don’t sleep train newborns. We don’t leave babies feeling abandoned. We don’t restrict breastfeeding or shove bottles down your babies' throats. We don’t starve babies of sleep. We don’t teach “learned helplessness”. We don't "prey on helpless mothers". We don’t even call our methods a “routine”.
We offer information and guidance through a series of thoroughly researched and successful sleep books based on babies biological/natural circadian rhythms. We also offer practical and emotional support from our own experience as mothers, as aunties, as sisters, as friends, as women.
If you don’t want help, you don’t need to read our articles or watch our videos. But you certainly don’t need to criticise other people for doing it.
How one mother chooses to parent might be completely different to another; she’s not asking for your judgement or even your opinion on the choices she’s made for her family. No one else knows where another person’s breaking point is and who are we, any of us, to judge someone when they reach it.
We help people who ask for help. People who want knowledge and a solution and a way forward. People who might not have anyone else to ask, people who have been given advice in the past that didn’t work for them or they were victims of conflicting information and never-ending criticism.
If you say to us "I want to continue to co-sleep" we'll say GREAT, sleepy snuggles are the best! If you say "I feed my baby to sleep and I love doing it", we'll say FABULOUS, enjoy those moments! If you say "I just want to use your books as a loose guideline for my day" we'll say PERFECT, whatever works for you!
We 100% accept that all parents are different. We don’t judge your parenting choices. Ever.
Our books or our advice might not be for you, that's cool. You might not agree with the information we convey - totally fine and if you’re happy with your baby’s sleep, that's all that matters. You might have a baby that sleeps and feeds beautifully and has created their own "routine". You might be happy to go with the flow. Unfortunately however, there are babies with reflux, colic, tongue ties, lip ties and these mothers may not have a settled little baby. Instead they have a screaming baby and no idea where to even start. There are babies who are impossible to settle, babies who sleep all day and stay awake all night. There are babies of mothers with PND. Babies of mothers who have no support network around them. Babies of mothers who have been bullied about every decision they've made, bullied most likely, by the mummy trolls of the internet who lurk in Facebook groups that claim to "support mothers".
And that mum over there is suffering from anxiety and her relationship is breaking down and she is getting next to no sleep and she has asked us for help… Leave her be, if you don’t mind. She’s got enough on her plate.
And this mum, she was struggling being a solo parent of a baby who didn’t sleep. She is now happier, well-rested and her baby is sleeping like a dream. She didn't use crying or sleep training, shock horror. But you didn't know that when you just blanket-judged her simply because her baby is sleeping well. Why is that “bad” of her; why does that make her a horrible mother? Why do you need to put an angry face or a judgemental comment on her Facebook review? Are you angry because her baby is sleeping well? That says more about you than anything.
Or is it because you simply don’t understand what it is that we do? We help people. We help tens of thousands of people from all over the world in whatever way they need help. Sometimes it's just providing them with knowledge to understand their baby's sleep. Sometimes it's helping them establish a nap pattern or set up a great sleep environment. We do it as affordably as we can and we give a tonne of advice and support for free, 24/7.
We help people because we’re mothers too and we know what it’s like to be struggling and criticised.
So please, stop the nastiness. Stop the hate. Curb the criticism. There are far bigger issues in this world than a tired mother getting some much-needed rest.